The wine swiggtator rating scale

As with every wine related site, blog or magazine one will encounter a rating system designed to make the process of evaluating a wine less confusing-or as I would like to put it , dumb it down to the lowest common denominator. My rating system is designed for folks who don't want to know about the 'notes of tobacco and tar with a bit of wet stones on the finish' or any of that strange wine-speak that only wine writers seem to have a handle on. My scale of merit is the swigg. Ten swiggs will indicate a real amazing bottle -conversely , one swigg will indicate that perhaps a particular wine could be a vomit-inducing beverage of the lowest order. I'll spell it out: One swigg: Not many wines will garner this low assesment. One swigg will signal that the maker of this wine is either misguided, unlucky , a total idiot or just careless....pour it down the drain. Two swiggs signal that while the wine may still be terrible, it isn't the absolute bottom of the barrel. Three swiggs is a wine you can drink...but only if you have to. At least you aren't totally repulsed by it.Four swiggs is a wine that you can serve at a large gathering , as long as nobody knows that it was you who brought this mediocre swill, the kind you'll find flying coach. Five swiggs is now an average wine, not all that bad, accessable but not all that interesting. Six swiggs will get you something I call " average plus" , essentially an average bottle that has some complexity and makes it possible for you to not stop at one glass. Seven swiggs will indicate a wine that might be an inexpesive but tasty wine you'll want to have on hand for mid-week dinners. Eight swiggs.....now you are getting into something you can serve for guests that they will enjoy , maybe even talk about. Nine swiggs will make the guests at your table definitely happy and will ask where you got such a great bottle. Ten swiggs will be a wine that you'll remember for a long time, one that makes an indellable impression in your mental catalogue of best things in life. When I shop for wine I'm hoping for at least a six swigg wine. If the wine is less than that, I'll most likely avoid it in the future. My quest will be to find good under $ 10 bottles for weekdays, maybe go to the $ 15-25 for the weekend. Enjoy, and if not.......pour the crap down the drain !